Classic Clip: Baby Dropboxes (All Caps Podcast Episode 21)
From All Caps Podcast Episode 21: two running jokes are born -- post-term abortions and tossing unwanted babies (or three year old children) in dropboxes at fire stations or nunneries.
Episode 10: Easter, Pee-wee's Big Holiday, and VR Porn
Chris had a surprisingly uneventful Easter dinner at Red Lobster with his parents, and he reminisces about participating in traditional Polish Easter rituals with an ex-girlfriend's family. Tanner complains about allergy attention seeking. Neither Chris nor Tanner liked the new Pee-wee Herman movie, but they still love Big Adventure. Tanner stumbled on a press release for a VR porn game.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 9: Blindness, Laundromats, and Love/Hate
Season two! Chris and Tanner are back with a soft reboot that adds a little more structure and flow. Chris kicks things off with a story about an awkward moment he had with a blind person at work. Tanner saw a guy smelling clothes at the laundromat and is trying to figure out what it means. He also remembers a couple underwear stories from his past. Chris burps like a Boglin. Finally, Tanner puts Chris in the hot seat to play Love/Hate, a long-running game focused on knee-jerk reactions to random things.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 8: Season One Finale
Chris and Tanner close out season one by dipping into the listener mailbag for the first time. Stay tuned for season two.
Music by Haunted House
Classic Clip: Milking (Super Dumb Games Episode 24 and Live to Tape Show Episode 8)
From Super Dumb Games Episode 24 and Live to Tape Show Episode 8: This one's kinda explicit. Well, more than normal at least. First, Chris explains that Tanner is being held captive by the Idaho Gun Jockeys and being, uh, "milked greedily." Then, Tanner reads a news story about a machine that's supposed to help with sperm extraction.
Classic Clip: Chris Visits the Bay Area (Super Dumb Games Episode 6)
From Super Dumb Games Episode 6: Tanner reminisces about Chris's visit to the Bay Area.
Classic Clip: Hiking and Geezers (All Caps Podcast Episode 42)
From All Caps Podcast Episode 42: Tanner rants about people -- particularly old people -- who dress like they're going to war just to walk around botanical gardens. Chris then takes aim at old people in general.
Classic Clip: Sphere Chess (Super Dumb Games Episode 16)
From Super Dumb Games Episode 16: Tanner reads a press release for a videogame called Sphere Chess, and Chris decides to give them a call.
Classic Clip: All Caps Intro and Sex MMO (All Caps Podcast Episode 26)
From All Caps Podcast Episode 26: Chris gives the fast-talking intro to the show a try, and Chris and Tanner discuss what it'd be like if a massive multiplayer online game (MMO or MMOG) would be like if it focused just on dating and sex.
Classic Clip: Tornados and XJ-900s (Live to Tape Show Episode 3)
From Live to Tape Show Episode 3: Chris and Tanner wax nostalgic about hiding out from tornados and reenact how a 12-year old Chris, with the help of is off-brand pump sneakers, would fare if a storm had struck his neighborhood.
Episode Drunk (Bonus Episode)
This was meant to be episode 7, but Chris was depressed and got drunk. Tanner took it upon himself to try and make Chris "feel." As a result, there's not a whole lot of structure to this episode, so we decided to not make it canon. It's still well worth a listen.
What you're in store for: the limits of white bourgeois politics, massaging teachers, Deadpool, a gunfight and a murder, encyclopedias, cat burping, Wilson Phillips, and not feeling anything.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 7: Success, The Witch, and Live Cams
Chris and Tanner discuss their favorite theme park rides. Chris complains that things aren't happening fast enough. What things, you ask? You know just stuff like love, happiness, and success. Tanner thinks The Witch has secured a slot on top 10 films of the year. Chris stumbled on a live cam porn site and was not having it.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 6: Garrison Keillor, 1986, and 40-year Old Bullies
Chris tries out his Garrison Keillor impression which kicks off some raving and ranting about NPR and old white bourgeois types who are liberal in name only. Chris and Tanner rave about Stand By Me, Marlon Brando, and the year 1986. Tanner talks about going to the pre-Super Bowl Metallica concert and how he realized bullies still exist even in old age.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 5: Umbrella Theft, Silicon Valley, and Tastee Freez
Chris rants about trying to write at a bar and a group of "work hard, play hard" types ruin it. Tanner had his umbrella stolen at a restaurant and has a message for the thief. Chris is late to the party but loves Silicon Valley, and Tanner says The Witness might be a game you want to check out even if you're not into games. Tanner reveals the true identity of the Tastee Freez mentioned in John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane."
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 4: Chris Lives! (Solo Episode)
Chris goes it alone in this episode. He reflects on how being a creative type doesn't always work in relationships, and how he feels about jumping back into the dating world in his mid 30s. He also went to a monster truck rally and sorta liked it.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 3: Bars, Pete and Pete, and Unlovability
Chris rants about loud bars and too-serious bar trivia teams. Tanner declares Pete and Pete the best children's show ever, and is shocked to find out about a convicted sex offender director (who isn't Roman Polanski) that continues to make movies. And then...things take a turn. Chris is depressed and in crisis, convinced he'll never find love. Be advised folks, this is a rough last (after credits) segment.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Illustration by Ryan Hodge
Episode 2: IQ Tests, David Bowie, and Social Anxiety
Chris laments how parents assume their kids are geniuses rather than just normals, and then try to confirm it with IQ tests. He also rants about fandom but admits he was wrong about Dr. Who. Tanner thinks David Bowie's death was his last great work of art, and reveals how he had a crippling bout of social anxiety at a holiday party.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner
Episode 1: Teens, Movies, and Self-Deprecation
Chris and Tanner are back by no demand but their own, and even they are rethinking the decision. In this episode Chris runs down 2015's top celebrity deaths, Tanner rants about teens making out while he tried to watch a movie and raves about his favorite movies of 2015. Finally, Chris reveals how his self-deprecating personality has some dire consequences.
Music by Haunted House and Right on Wagner