We’ve decided to stop letting our IM conversations disappear into the bowels of the internet. Our solution is to start archiving them on the website for your enjoyment. Here is a conversation from this afternoon.

DISCLAIMER: THIS CONTAINS IRONIC HUMOR. THAT MEANS WE APPEAR TO SAY OR SUPPORT THINGS WE ACTUALLY DON’T FOR COMEDIC EFFECT. SO PLEASE DON’T EMAIL US ANGRILY. ACTUALLY, PLEASE DO. WE CAN INCLUDE YOU IN A FUTURE CONVERSATION.

FONDLY,

THE MANAGEMENT

Chris
http://runsickboyrun.blogspot.com/2009/08/your-health-or-your-wallet-choice-is.html
ANOTHER GRUELING STORY ABOUT HOW HORRIBLE OUR HEALTH CARE IS FROM SOMEONE WITH CYSTIC FIBROSIS.

Tanner
The one thing that story left out is that America is the best country in the world and to admit the healthcare system is flawed is to be unpatriotic.

I recommend this person be put in a re-patriotizing program that includes the purchasing of Kenny Chesney CDs, pickup truck driving, and troop supporting by sending the troops things they already have like toilet paper and tooth brushes.

C
AND BESIDES, WHAT COULD THIS PERSON POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT THE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM THAT I DON’T ALREADY KNOW?

I KNOW THAT IF I GO TO THE HOSPITAL, I GET TREATED.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

NO PROBLEMS THERE.

T
Yeah so she has CF. BIG FUCKING DEAL.

I had a broken arm once.

C
HAHAHA

T
AND I SWEAR TO GOD DR. HUXTABLE HIMSELF TREATED ME.

C
I ONCE HAD A SINUS INFECTION AND IT CAUSED PHLEGM IN MY LUNGS.

I GOT OVER IT.

THESE PEOPLE WITH CF ARE PROBABLY JUST FAKING IT.

I JUST COUGHED IT OUT.

T
NOT TUFF ENUFF.

C
GO BUY SOME ROBITUSSIN.

T
THEY NEED TO LISTEN TO THAT SONG ACTUALLY.

“ARE YOU TUFF ENUFFFFFFFFFFFFFF”

AND THE ANSWER IS MOST LIKELY, “NO.”

C
HAHAHAHA

T
SO WHAT THEY NEED TO DO

#1 WATCH NAVY SEALS STARRING CHARLIE SHEEN.

#2 GET CHUCK NORRIS’S TOTAL GYM AND GET TO WORK.

THAT’S MY HEALTHCARE PLAN.

WORKS FOR ME.

IT’S CALLED TUFF ‘N STUFF HMO.

C
HAHAHAHAHA

IT CAN’T BE CALLED HMO THOUGH BECAUSE THAT’S TOO CLOSE TO HOMO.

CALL IT BAMO

BAD ASS MAINTENANCE ORGANIZATION

OR BAMMO.

T
GOOD POINT.

C
BAD ASS MUTHAFUCKAAAA MAINTENANCE ORG

T
THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR AND ASK TO GET TREATED IS THE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANCE SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE.

C
HAHAHAHAHAHA

THEIR QUESTIONNAIRE HAS A SINGLE QUESTION: “WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?”

T
HAHAAHAH

THIS IS THE SONG I WAS REFERENCING http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EviIu2YqVyg

APPARENTLY TUFF MEANS WEARING A BERET AND BEING 50 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.

WAIT, HE’S ONLY 15 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT. HE JUST HAS ONE OF THOSE SWOLLEN FACES.

THIS IS A SONG FOR OLD GUYS WHO ARE DRAINING THEIR RETIREMENT ON SOME OLD ASS MUSCLE CAR IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO RECAPTURE THE ONE TIME IN THEIR LIFE THEY HAD HOPE.

C
THIS SONG IS DISGUSTING.

I SWEAR IT WAS IN A MOVIE.

T
THANKFULLY WHEN IM 45 ALL I WILL HAVE TO DO IS BUY A PLAYSTATION, COOL RANCH DORITOS, AND RC COLA AND PLAY XENOGEARS.