Don’t worry everyone because All Caps lives on—in our IM conversations.
C: ON A MUCH MORE DOWN-TO-EARTH NOTE: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42191453/ns/today-today_people/
T: THE ONLY GOOD ENDING FOR THIS VIDEO WOULD BE THIS KID GETTING SHOT IN THE EYE
C: I LOVE THAT THE GRANDFATHER HAS “HUGE WINGS”
C: WHEN BIBLICALLY CORRECT PEOPLE SHOULD NOTE THAT HUMANS DO NOT GET WINGS IN HEAVEN
C: WE DON’T BECOME ANGELS
C: ANGELS ARE BENEATH HUMANS IN THE CREATION HIERARCHY
C: THIS KID LOOKS LIKE JAKE LLOYD
C: AND THE MOM LIKE TILDA SWINTON
T: THIS LYING DICKWAD
T: WITH HIS SMILE
C: NO WAY THIS KID SPEAKS THE TRUTH
C: HE SAW JESUS
C: WHY WOULD THE GRANDFATHER SAY “ARE YOU TODD’S SON?”
T: “HEAVEN IS FULL OF DISMEBODIED DRIPPING WET COOTERS.”
C: JUST RIPE FOR THE MUNCHING
T: BUT THEY CONSTANTLY PLAY THE .WAV FILE SCREAM FROM EVERY SURPRISE GHOST ANIMATED .GIF
C: THIS DAD IS TRYING TO CAPITALIZE BIG TIME
C: HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A WISHMASTER-ESQUE HEAVEN: EVERYONE IS FUCKING OLD
C: WHEN YOU GO TO HEAVEN YOU’RE FUCKING OLD AS SHIT
C: FOR ETERNITY
C: WHY DOESN’T ANYONE SAY THAT
C: EVERYONE’S IN THEIR 20S AND 30S
C: EVERYONE
C: PERFECT
C: I WANT SOMEONE TO GO TO HEAVEN AND FLIP SHIT AROUND
T: I WANT GOD TO USE HEBBEN AS HIS PERSONAL COURT JESTER
T: SNAPS HIS FINGERS AND SUDDENLY EVERYONE HAS DOWN’S SYNDROME
C: THEY DON’T GO THERE
C: ANIMALS
C: FUCKING ANIMALS
C: THERE ARE NO ANIMALS IN HEAVEN
T: ONLY CUTE ANIMALS THOUGH
T: NO SLUGS
T: NO RATTLESNAKES
C: YEAH NO AFRICANIZED BEES
C: NOW WAIT A SECOND THOUGH
C: THIS KID MET HIS MISCARRIED SIBLING
C: http://www.oddfilms.com/blog/media/basket-case.jpg
C: I HOPE TO CHRIST THAT’S WHAT HIS MISCARRIED BROTHER LOOKED LIKE
T: COLTON FUCKING AWFUL HICKISH NAME
T: WE NEED TO DEDICATE BLLIONS TO COME-BACK-FROM-DEATH-BRIEFLY TECHNOLOGY
T: SO WE CAN BRING BACK RELIGIOUS PEOPLE FOR A FEW MINUTES
T: AND BE LIKE, “SEE MOTHERFUCKER.”
T: “NOTHING.”
T: “NOW DIE!”
T: AND THEN SEND THEM BACK INTO THE ABYSS
C: THAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FILM